It struck me hard – as I went to bed last night – feeling utterly tired, frustrated and exhausted from another episode of unpleasant palpitations, that I shouldn’t be having by now, because I had a 95% chance of them fading to nothing within 8 weeks after heart surgery.

What did I have to be thankful for?

As I lay there, fed up, finishing what should have been a weekend of rest for us as a family, after 6 months of relentless pressure and strain, that I did not have anything to be thankful for.

I really don’t like going to bed separately from my wife, and yet palpitations have frequently necessitated this. It really does upset me when my JoJo has to go to bed, while I remain hunched forward at the dining room table – the only position that offers any actual respite from the random shaking of my heart and chest.

This episode brought with it the unhappily familiar agitation, which always makes me feel most vulnerable and leaves me upset.

As I lay there in bed I picked up my current book – The Hiding Place – by Corrie ten Boom. And as I turned the pages I reached one of her most well known statements – about how she could not thank God for the fleas.

If you haven’t read the book, get yourself a copy! Each time I read it I learn something new about myself, often far too close to home about my own attitude. I really do identify with Corrie’s take on life throughout the book, and not that of her precious sister who saw the good in people, when no one else can.

And, because reading a book that doesn’t move me in some way seems a fruitless use of my time I started praying, as the words of Corrie’s sister struck home.

So, what did I have to be thankful for?

Well how about the cup of tea I could make myself while waiting for the palpitations to end? It soothes my chest a little.

And I quickly realised just how many things I had to be thankful for:

1. The chair I sat on
2. The memory soaked dining table
3. The working kettle, and electricity supply
4. A clean mug, taken from the dishwasher
5. Chilled milk, taken from our fridge
6. Clean, filtered water, in turn fed by a tap in the kitchen
7. My oldest son checking up on me
8. My phone – a perfect distraction when I need it!
9. My wife not pulling away from my cold body, when I finally did get into bed
10. A torch to help me read
11. A duvet, and a comfortable bed
12. The book on my hands!!!

It’s easy for us to focus on the bad – when life gets you down, please make sure you make an effort to consider the good things around you in your life.

They are already, and always there. Sometimes it takes determined effort to quiet the noise, to realise them.