Have you ever merrily been enjoying something you can see, only to realise that what you ‘knew’ you saw, is actually not what you saw?

At Christmas we bought a mug for one of our sons. I chose it with his breakfast show in mind: it was the largest mug I could find, and I hoped it would help reduce how many mugs of tea he had to make – while doing his show, Live, each weekday morning.

My wife – Jo – loved the mug. Of course she did! I have good taste when it comes to mugs! But she was a little thrown by the message on its side, because, in very large letters, were these letters:

H O

M E

She asked me what the word – that she pronounced as “home-E” – was all about?

What did it mean?

Why did I buy a mug with that message on it?

A little laughter later and I pointed out what those letters actually said.

H O M E

Funny how easily and innocently we can miss the real message – because of the message we think we see, that actually isn’t!

They all agree with me!

I used to know someone who would be best described as a Narcissist.

If you spent any time with them you’d soon be confused about what they thought, or even what you thought! Because they’d easily confuse even the most intelligent of people.

One of their favourite tactics was to speak a message that wasn’t, and it went something like this:

“But I shared this with others and they were all in complete agreement with me”

‘Mic Drop’ might be the effect they were clearly going for. Because you can’t very well argue with a large group of people!

The problem, of course, was that those “others” had either no clue of the conversation, or had chosen silence so they wouldn’t upset anyone.

Worth remembering that little nugget when you think staying silent is the better option!

Don’t miss the message for the one you want

Accountability is something I always ensure I have in my life. Those people are often quite hidden from my public life, but they are precious people because they help me become the very best version of myself that I can be.

They are people with their own minds and thoughts: we don’t agree on everything, but we do agree on supporting each other by honesty, mixed with vulnerability and mutual trust.

It’s really far too easy to say things in such a way that people will agree with us – who doesn’t like being “you’re right”. But are you happy to be told you’re wrong?

Do you speak in such a way that people wouldn’t dare disagree with you? Or can you phrase it in such a way that people can reply with their own thoughts?

And if someone can’t see the message that we can, be gracious and point it out gently!